when do you say its enough?
when do you decide that it hurts too much to be around people?
why the hell do people always let me down?
when the only thing i really need is human contact why the hell is it so hard to find?
why do i keep hanging on even tho its obvious that its not doing me or anyone else any good?
i feel like screaming, breaking things..........anything to remind myself that im really here
why the hell do i let people convince me that "yes you matter" only to have them prove with thier actions that thats really not the case?
shit......i dont want to feel like this.......it hurts
im scared shitless that the biopsy is gonna be bad news.........i dont want anything to happen to my boy..........and i have no one to talk to.........theres no one here
like thats anything new. Youd think id be used to it by now wouldnt you.....so like a total sad ass im writing to a blog, cos im too fucking sad to have actual people to talk to......pathetic
spose its better than smoking a whole pack of cigs.....marginally at least
its not anyones fault i know...........people have lives, i cant expect them to work around me. Not everyone is like me with nothing and no one. Theres always more important things than me and my whining.....i just feel so alone.....im on the edge of a cliff and itd be so easy to fall....i honestly dont know why i just dont. Just let go and fall.....it cant be worse than the pain of hanging on can it? what would it matter to anyone or anything? the animals would be taken care of and thats all that i care about
why do i get close to things, why do i let them in? they always get taken away, or leave..........which is life i guess........life sucks btw
why does it hurt so much?