blah day

well im working too which really doesnt help with blah lol
random thoughts
#1: i was chatting to a friend the other nite and he said something that made me laugh...
he said i was a "great person" or words to that effect lol
now while im not about to complain about that.....hell its better than bitch queen from hades ;) it does amuse me that the only people to tell me this(4 so far) have always been the ones that wouldnt touch me(or someone like me) with a 10 foot barge pole lol.............kinda grass is greener in reverse i guess *shrugs*
that said i have to say that all the people that HAVE said that to me have always been people that i like and respect a great deal so i guess its all good....just kinda funny :)
and its nice to know that some people at least do think im ok, even when im being my worst, which is when i cant really see anything good about me at all.....depression makes a lousy mirror
#2: why is it that when i get down about being alone people assume i want to go out and find a "man" lol..........funnily enough that isnt really it. Its more to do with why......id love to know why i dont seem to be able to attract anything but wankers....especially if im a "great person" lol ...i guess i cant complain too much tho, i do have some wonderful friends. Friends cant always be there tho, they have thier own shit to deal to. TBH most of the time it amuses me, and when it doesnt im already so down it doesnt matter too much. It would be nice to be special to someone, to be the most important thing in someones life tho. Having said that ive also been on the end of obsession too tho, and that sucks in a big way also so i guess i cant win, if anyone ever does lol.
#3: WHY oh why does the place i work have to have the airconditioning on, at nite, in the middle of winter? its like a bloody fridge in here lol.
#4: why do people seem to think that pets are disposable? it drives me insane that people can turn around and "rehome" thier pets when things get a bit tough. OK i do accept that sometimes its the best thing, but in most cases its not.....its simply a matter of convenience. my animals are my family(gods know my actual family isnt that much to write home about, the pets are DEF an improvement)

ok rant over lol.......think im finally starting to come out of my latest depression which is a relief. In spite of what it might seem its horrible feeling so bad, so bleak, so ill be glad to see the back of it :)